I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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