so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
