Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
