You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
