420 ftw
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I CAN MOONWALK!
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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