Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
