I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
