he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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