Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
