kristin has been a bad kristin
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
