Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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