i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
