Pregnant stripper...not hot.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize