nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
