Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize