I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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