I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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