You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
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We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
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You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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