i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize