As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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