If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
