Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
