you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
