I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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