So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
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