It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
