Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
