is your mom at the bar?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
