(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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