Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!