The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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