Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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