its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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