Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
