dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Life is so much better after having sex.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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