Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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