definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
