Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
