he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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