So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
