Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
