he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
