He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important