Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.