Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans