Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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