You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.