how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
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Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.