I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
