i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
