She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
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Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
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I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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