Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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