I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
