I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
