everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
