She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
