Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
