I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
