I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
