Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Randomize
