I wish my penis had an off switch
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Success! We fucked roommates!
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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