how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
