Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
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I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
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