ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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