Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
