This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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