Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
