I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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