DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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